Awake
Author: Daniela
Fandom: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Pairing: Greg/Grissom
Rating: PG
Category: Angst, Romance
Series/Sequel: Breaking the Ice
Disclaimer: I donīt own them but I love them dearly.
Summary: Greg has some problems
Warnings: Pre-slash, Spoilers for "Inside the Box"
Feedback: Yes, please. Itīs the icing on my cake.
Email: daniforblue@yahoo.de
Released: July 2003
Beta: Isha
"Greg, your hands are shaking," Grissom stated, perplexed.
"No, they are not," Greg denied simply. His big brown eyes were full of fear. He looked like a deer, which had been caught in the headlights of a car.
Scared? Scared of me? Scared of being punished? Grissom wondered but didnīt give in. "Put your hands up." He saw he had been right. Gregīs hands were shaking.
"Theyīve been shaking ever since...." Greg admitted and glanced over to the destroyed section of the lab.
Grissomīs eyes followed his look.
Greg smiled, helpless. "I canīt make it stop."
"Does it affect your work?"
"If I were a bomb expert, maybe," Greg joked dryly.
Grissom didnīt smile.
"No, I think I have it under control."
Grissom felt the urge to hug him. He wanted to take him into his arms and kiss the sorrows away. He longed to comfort him. Shit. It isnīt professional to lust after my subordinate. A subordinate who is more than twenty years younger than me. Pull yourself together. "It will stop. If you need me Iīll be around."
Another boyish look captured Gregīs face. "Okay."
Grissom walked away before he was tempted to say something else. More stupid emotional stuff. He just hated to see Greg like this. So sad and scared. He was supposed to be happy and laughing all the time. He needed Greg to be the opposite of him. It made him happier and more relaxed. Liar. I want him to be far more than that. I just forbade myself to go for it, to take a change, to take him. Greg wouldnīt mind. He wants me. Grissom shook his head in denial. No. No. No. He rushed on to bury himself in work.
A few hours later, he was reminded of the problem because he overheard Hodges talking to a bunch of labworkers.
"Did you see how his hands were shaking? How can he work accurately? In spite of this he is still Grissomīs favorite lab pet. Always number one to give him results. The first of us to be out in the field. Why? He isnīt better than us, is he?"
The men and women who had gathered around him didnīt answer. They had already seen their boss.
Hodges didnīt because his back was turned to Grissom.
"Well, if you want to be the number one, stop giving speeches behind my back," Grissom snarled, razor-sharp.
Hodges whirled around. He didnīt look ashamed. Why, no. He smiled, satisfied.
"Where is Sanders?" Grissom asked icily, giving Hodges no more credit.
"He ran out because Hodges bothered him about his hands shaking," Bobby said sheepishly. "He said Greg would never go out in the field again in his life."
Grissom glared at Hodges. "Obviously you know more than me. No final decision has been made in this matter." He turned to the rest of the group. "Go back to work." They scattered quickly.
Only Hodges stayed. He appeared happy at the prospect of getting dressed down by his boss.
But Grissom didnīt give him the satisfaction. "You too, Hodges!"
Pouting, Hodges left.
Grissom went outside to look for Greg. At first he thought Greg was nowhere near the building but then he saw him standing behind a pillar. Grissom joined him.
Greg had wrapped his arms around himself. Maybe to keep his hands from shaking. "Hey, Grissom. You donīt have to say anything about me not having enough work to do. Iīm back inside in a minute. I just needed some air."
"I wasnīt going to say anything like this. I was just concerned."
"Oh."
"Why do you listen to Hodges? I always believed youīd never listen to anyone. Ever. Not even to me," Grissom said softly. He was teasing but Greg wasnīt in the mood for jokes.
"Thatīs not true! I always listen to you. I would never doubt your word. Not on purpose." Greg pressed his lips together. Great! Another stupid confession. Go on like that and soon the whole lab will know you have a crush on your boss.
Grissom hid how flattered he felt. "I only wanted to say donīt listen to Hodges. He just envies you for being in the field."
"In this condition Iīll never do field work again."
"I told you it will stop and Iīll be here for you if you need my help."
"Honestly...Iīm...surprised to hear something like this from you."
"Whatīs that suppose to mean? I know Iīm not good with people but even I...I have feelings..."
"Yes, of course. But you were never so nice to me. It makes me...."
"What?"
"Nothing." Greg lowered his eyes and studied the ground.
Grissom breathed deeply in. Easy now. Easy. I have to be the grown-up. His other side - the not so mature side - was craving to kiss Greg. But no, no way he was giving in to his feelings. But he couldnīt resist the urge to stroke gently over Gregīs hair.
Gregīs head snapped around. He brown eyes looked close to tears.
Grissom cleared his throat. "Itīs better we go back inside."
"Yes. Much better," Greg whispered huskily.
In the lab, Grissom gave him a reassuring smile. "It will stop."
Greg sighed unhappily. Really? Will it stop? The shaking of my hands, maybe, but whatīs with the longing for Grissom? The wanting for him to stroke more than my hair, to kiss me, to make love to me? Jeez. Iīm really sick.
Lovesick.
