Beyond my Control - 14/24

Author: Daniela
Fandom: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Pairing: Greg/Grissom
Rating: NC17
Category: Romance, Humor
Series/Sequel: Breaking the Ice
Disclaimer: I don't own them, but I love them dearly.
Summary: Greg doesn't play ball when Grissom has second thoughts.
Warning: Slash, M/M, Spoiler for "Jackpot"
Feedback: Yes, please. It's the icing on my cake.
Released: November 2003
Revised: November 2019/May2021
Word Count: 2334
Beta: None


"Yeah? What?"

"That's the third time I'm asking you. Do you have any results?"

"No, I haven't."

Grissom turned around and walked away.

"Hey, wait a second," Greg said, squaring his shoulders. Come on. Spit it out!

"What is it?" His cryptic boss and lover turned back.

"I was thinking..." Jeez! Those cold blue eyes. Is that the same guy who hit on me at a Crime scene? "Never mind." The same guy who rejoiced in sucking me off.

Grissom frowned, looking as if he wanted to say something. In the end he left not saying anything.

Greg watched his back until Grissom was out of sight. Gee! He slumped into his chair and put his arms on the desk. That didn't go the way he had hoped for. Yeah, because I'm chickened out once again. What should he do now? Since he had slept with Grissom he was struggling through every day and night. He was done being ignored and couldn't go on like nothing had ever happened, though Grissom had no problem to hush up their affair. He had not showed any affection or concern for Greg since they had been intimate. None whatsoever. Always looking at him in this cold way talking shop only. In the last few days Grissom had been gone to a small town called Jackpot and Greg had missed him terribly. Having Grissom back at the lab didn't change anything though. He was as closed-lipped and distant as he could be.

"What's going on, Greg? Are you exhausted..." Catherine interrupted his brooding, putting an envelope with samples on the desk. "...or lovesick?"

Shit! He jerked up and spun around, gripping the arms of the chair. "No! No way!"

She smiled. "No kidding! You're ultra-jumpy."

What the hell? Don't behave like a child. "Well, maybe I am. Not that it matters."

"Who's the lucky guy? Michael?"

"Nah." He grinned. Now we're moving on safe ground. "Never. Not mature enough."

"Oh? But it's someone from the lab, right?"

"What! Of course not." Don't blush, idiot. "I'm not batshit crazy." Yeah, I am.

"What's the problem? Doesn't he fancy you?"

"It's... It's complicated." Sure. That's the understatement of the century.

"Come on, tell me. Maybe I can help."

Okay. Why not? It can't get any worse, right? Actually, he was desperate to talk to someone for days. "I thought he fancies me. We... we've already slept together. But now he keeps me at arm's length. I don't know what I did wrong."

"Do you still want him?"

"Yeah. More than ever." He fetched the samples from the envelope to keep busy. Don't look now. Don't steal a glance at his office. Don't.

"What kind of guy is he?"

"Uh... determined, mature, always in control."

"I see." She put a hand on his shoulder. "Maybe he's just afraid of losing that control. Safer for him to shun you."

"Yeah? You're sure about that? You don't even know him." He moved the samples from left to right and back again.

"Take it from me. You need to make the first move. Make him forget that he thinks he's in control. Having control of everything is an illusion anyway. It's time to break those fences down."

"Okay. Fine." Greg swallowed. That's easier to say than to do. "I'll try. We'll see what happens then."

"That's the spirit." She squeezed his shoulder briefly. "Maybe I do know him," she purred, and walked out.

What the hell? He gaped at her leaving. She's just teasing me, right? She can't know. Nobody knows. But then again what if she knows? Does it matter? It's Catherine. She wouldn't tell anybody, would she? Well, whatever. She's right. Take your chances. Don't wait. Don't back down. Be a man. Right. Let's beard the lion in his den. Now or never. He straightened up and walked to Grissom's office. He knocked.

"Come in."

He burst into the room ready to jump on the desk to make his point. "I need to talk to you."

"You have the results," Grissom said, reaching out.

"Not at all. This's about you and me. About us."

Grissom's expression turned grim. "Us? There is no us."

"Yeah. I already got that. You had me and then you dumped me."

"I've never made you any promises."

"Why, no. Far from it! You act like it never happened."

"I don't wanna discuss this here and now."

"Wherever will we discuss it then?"

"Actually never. There's nothing else to say."

"Okay. Fine. One more thing though. Thanks for fucking me." He rushed into the corridor and down the hallway as if he wanted to win a race. Fuck you, Grissom. Yeah. And fuck me.

Gil stared at the door Greg had left open. Why doesn't he let it go? For God's sake. What's he bitching about? We did it. It was fun. End of story. Why complicate things and cause unnecessary problems? A pleasing stirring in his groin made clear he lied to himself. "Damn it." He felt the urge to pay Greg a visit at his desk. He longed to make him suffer for getting him horny so easily. Not giving in to his desires wasn't as simple for him as Greg thought. Seeing Greg every day at the lab let him fantasize a lot. Sometimes he wanted to throw Greg on his desk and take him right there. Stupidly outrageous to think like that. He was lucky he hadn't got caught for his improper behavior so far. Better to forget about Greg and his feelings for him. Better to ignore him and make this infatuation run out of steam. Right. Back to work.

Gil didn't catch one more glimpse of Greg all night.


In the early morning Gil was lying on his sofa, watching the discovery channel, though he was barely paying attention because he was daydreaming about Greg. Jerk-off material at its finest. A loud hammering at his door startled him out of his dirty fantasies.

"Open the door! It's Greg." His voice sounded strange. The noise he made was plenty to alarm everybody on the floor if not in the entire building.

What the hell... Gil rushed to the door and tore it open. He understood then what was going on. "You're drunk."

"No, not even close." Greg was clinging to the doorframe. "I'm just a bit lightheaded from a trip to a bar."

"I see. That's why you decided to come here."

"Yeah. I needed to see my boss. The man who's in control. Not like me. The lab boy who doesn't know a thing."

"Get out of here." Gil was fighting with his belt-buckle.

"I can't. I'm not like you. My feelings are beyond my control." He pushed Gil aside and walked in.

"Go home!" Gil gasped. "Don't do anything you'll regret tomorrow."

"I already told you that's beyond my control." Greg stumbled over the edge of the carpet and fell to his knees.

Gil shut the door and rushed over to him.

Greg was looking up to him. He had misty eyes and his voice was thick with longing. "Please, Grissom, I wanna suck you." He wrapped his arms around Gil's hips and nuzzled his face into his crotch.

"Stop that." Gil tried to unwrap himself. "This is ridiculous. You're drunk... and... and..."

"I'm not that drunk," Greg mumbled, rubbing his face into Grissom's crotch. "You want it. I can feel it. I want it too. What's the problem?" Clumsily, he fumbled at Gil's zipper, and finally succeeded in pulling it down. He snaked a hand inside and around Gil's cock.

"Greg, stop it," Gil hissed, wavering." Don't. I'm not able to overcome such temptation. I'm not that mature.

"Oh, come on. Don't play hard to get." Greg licked around the tender flesh of the head. "I dreamt countless times about this. I want you so much. A desire beyond my control."

"You're driving me nuts. I should..." For god's sake! Cut the crap! He grabbed Greg by the shoulders and dragged him to the sofa. "...let you do what you can't help doing."

"I wanna be on top," Greg said, fluttering his eyelashes.

"Okay. Fine." Gil pulled his pants and shorts over his ass to his knees and settled down. "Have it your way."

Greg reveled in his success by licking Gil's balls. First the left, then the right. Smacking his lips. He skipped to nibbling and suckling then.

Gil wallowed in the pleasures running through his body. "Quit teasing," he snarled anyway. "Suck my hard-on. That's what you came here for, didn't you?"

Greg lifted his head, smirking. "Still the boss, always in control."

"Please." He rocked his hips.

"Well, just because you're asking nicely..." Greg quipped and swallowed Gil's cock to the hilt.

Gil groaned in bliss and closed his eyes. He was ready to let himself go. He didn't care who was in control. He just wanted to feel the unique pleasure his lover was giving him. He just wanted to be a man, not a boss or CSI. A sexual being with obscene cravings.

Greg sucked his shaft eagerly, increasing speed and pressure at a steady pace.

"Yeah, that's it." Gil ruffled his hair. "Go on. Go faster." That mouth. That eager tongue. The alluring sounds he made. Gil couldn't help reaching his climax way too fast. He valued the treat none the less, squirting off in superior quantity.

Greg lifted his head and licked his glistening lips. "Jeez! Such a performance." He put his head down on Gil's chest then, yawning. "I'm fine. Just need some rest." A few seconds later he was asleep, snuggling up to Gil like a trusting kid.

Gil stayed put under him, casually stroking Greg's hair. Christ! If anybody could see us now. How could I let this happen? I must be out of my mind. Well, it wasn't my mind he fucked with, was it? I'm too old to think with my dick, ain't I? Sure, but is it only that? Don't I like Greg for more than his body? Care for him even? Why didn't I tell him that? Didn't I say a few days ago I'm trying to be more open? Now is the chance. With Greg. How about not screwing it up again? I did that already once in my life. God, no. Don't think about him. Not now. Not with another guy on top of you. He wriggled himself free from Greg's delicious weight and went for a blanket to cover him up. After that he went to bed. He needed a few hours of rest as well. The last couple of night shifts had taken its toll.


In the late afternoon Greg woke up. In need to take a leak he strolled to the bathroom. After he had relieved himself, he didn't go back to the sofa but entered Grissom's bedroom. Having gotten rid of his jeans and shirt he slipped under the covers snuggling up to Grissom. A soft grumble was the only complaint his lover made.

The next time Greg opened his eyes it was close to sunset. Feeling cozy and comfortable, he shifted and was confronted by Grissom's blazing blue eyes.

"Good evening, Mister Sanders."

Gee! What now? Greg grew stiff for all intents and purposes. "You want me to leave?"

Grissom shook his head. "You can stay. I'm just surprised to find you right here. I don't remember taking you to bed with me."

"Well, I was feeling lonely. So, I did come to your bed myself." Grissom's quizzical expression made him squirm with pleasure and shame. "I... this morning...uh..."

Grissom pulled him close. "What is it?"

"It's just... I'm not used to this."

"I didn't get that feeling when you were sucking me off."

Aw. The sensation of having Grissom's tongue in his ear was the profoundest distraction ever. "I meant the intimacy not the sex."

"You're doing fine." Grissom nibbled at Greg's earlobe.

Greg tried to focus on something else than his longing for a fuck. "Have you known for long I'm gay?"

"Yeah, pretty much from the start. One particular reason to keep you at arm's length."

Whoa! Greg was all ears. "Are you saying you've wanted me since the first time you laid eyes on me?"

In a surprising swift move Grissom pinned his body to the mattress. "Smart-ass." He sealed Greg's lips in a heated but sweet kiss.

"I've wanted you from the first time I laid eyes on you," Greg gasped, ready to be sucked dry and fucked blue.

"Have you known I'm gay?"

"No way! Well, maybe. Not really though. You're too mysterious, almost unreadable. Sometimes I wondered if you were in a secret relationship with Catherine."

"Sure, you did. She and I are close. She was the one who told me about your weird behavior. She said you were behaving this way because of me. She urged me to talk to you and make a move."

Kudos to you, Catherine. I owe you one. "Does she know you're gay?"

"I'm sure of it. Even though I never outed myself to her. When did you know?"

"For sure? Not until you kissed me for the first time."

"Did I shock you?"

"Hardly. I was too excited, and happy. I wasn't happy for some time, you know."

"Sorry, I made you unhappy. I just didn't realize you were into me."

"Yeah. How could you? You were never around anymore. You shunned me."

"Mm-mm." Grissom kissed his way down to the area around Greg's bellybutton. "I'll make it up to you."

"I was fantasizing about this," Greg moaned, arching into him.

Grissom went further down, getting a grip. "At work I suppose. I've always said you're the most impossible guy."

"That's your fault, Grissom. You make me want..."

"For God's sake. Call me Gil, okay?"

Feeling Grissom's hands and lips on his fully erected cock he had no choice whatsoever. "Sure. Gil. You're the boss. As you know it's beyond my control."

CSI - Greg Sanders & Gil Grissom Fanfiction