Illogical - 1/6


Author: Daniela
Fandom: Star Trek
Pairing: Amanda/Sarek
Rating: PG13
Category: Romance
Series/Sequel: My heart is my song, my mind is my melody.
Summary: Amanda falls for Sarek
Warning: None
Disclaimer: This is a piece of amateur fan fiction. I make no money of it.
Feedback: Yes, please. Every tiny little bit makes me happy.
Email: daniforblue@yahoo.de
Word Count: 1305
Released: November 2004
Beta: Anomaly, Selek




The moon was full and its golden light enchanted the garden in the prettiest way. It was right to come out here to find some peace, Amanda thought. Peace and the time to calm myself. Certainly the reason for my excitement is quite....

"Miss Grayson."

Amanda jumped. "Ambassador!" Her heartbeat increased rapidly and she scolded herself for being so irrational.

Sarek joined her. "Do you find the Earth moon more interesting than the meeting inside?"

She giggled. Jesus. Pull yourself together. You're close to making a complete fool of yourself. "No, of course not. I left because I needed to be alone for a while."

"Ah. Why is that, Miss Grayson?"

Sarek's intense eyes captured hers and made her quiver. I wanted to get away from you and those inquiring eyes. Oh, stop it. "These political parties, you know, are sometimes, well, how can I put it..."

"Boring?" he offered.

"No, not at all," she clarified rashly. "It's intriguing to discuss important matters with important people but after hours and hours of talking I become eventually a little tired."

"I see. A very logical explanation for your absence."

She relaxed and gave him a smile.

"I think it is comprehensible you find my speeches exhausting. I am a government representative and also a Vulcan."

Her smile vanished. "No, you misunderstood."

"Indeed?" His inquiring eyes didn't give her the slightest chance to look away for one second.

Amanda's heartbeat pulsed in her ears, and her face burnt with embarrassment. Damn! "I...I don't find your speeches exhausting."

"Thank you."

"And you are definitely the opposite of boring." Why on Heaven's earth did I say that?

He raised his impressive eyebrows. "May I ask why?"

No - you may not. At a loss for words, she stared at him, magnetized by the most irresistible eyes she had ever seen, and the most pleasing voice she had ever heard. Excitement overwhelmed her body and out of nervousness she giggled again.

"Did I say something funny?"

"No. I'm just a little nervous, because..." ...I'm silly.

"I make you nervous. In what way?"

In the most illogical way, the most human way. But fact is, you're not human, you're different, Amanda considered, unsettled.

He came closer.

Her eyes were drawn to his lips. What would it feel like to be kissed by a Vulcan?

Cheerful laughter made them turn around and observe the shadowed lanes of the garden.

A young couple was chasing each other through the park. Laughing and teasing, they didn't care about other people. The man caught the woman in an embrace and kissed her. She kissed him back - passionately. Silence again.

Sarek didn't move a muscle.

Amanda found no words and wished she could be anywhere but here.

Finally, the couple left the garden, probably in search of a better place to make out.

Amanda cleared her throat. "Er...it's getting cold. I would like to go back inside."

"Certainly," he replied without any noticeable change in his voice.

She observed him secretly from the corner of her eye. His expression was calm. I'm hot for a man who doesn't show the slightest sign of any emotion, Amanda noticed tartishly. A silly, illogical female, that's what I am.

"Did you say something?"

"No, Ambassador, I didn't." Her voice trembled noticeably. Oh dear. Stop it.

"I find human behavior very peculiar."

"Really? Which behavior in particular?"

"Kissing."

Amanda stopped breathing. This man - no, this Vulcan - was quite unnerving and she fought for her balance. "It's...it's only our way on Earth to show affection for another human being."

"I know." Sarek stopped in the middle of the hall. "Still, it is exotic to me."

Amanda's trembling intensified. Oh, come on, this is ridiculous!

His eyes narrowed. "How do you know you want to kiss someone?"

"We just know. We feel it."

"So, it is an emotional decision?"

She laughed. "Yes. Not very Vulcan, right?"

"No, but I would like to understand. Can you teach me?"

She gaped at him. His face was still expressionless. No smile, no blink. Pure innocence. No sign he was teasing her. But he must be joking, right?

"I've changed my mind. I'm too tired to go back to the meeting. I would like to go to my room." Coward, she scolded herself.

"Very well, Miss Grayson. Let me attend you." His eyes were like dark, smoldering coals.

"No, thank you."

"I must insist."

She noticed a change in him. His lips were twitching slightly. Since the day they had met for the first time, she had never seen him like this. It looked like a smile was hidden in the corners of his mouth, a smile that was waiting to break through.

Her knees became weak. "All right." What is happening to me? Why do I feel so drawn to this Vulcan?

They walked in silence. Awkward silence.

"Miss Grayson, it was never my intention to insult you..."

"You didn't," she said in order to soothe him.

He raised his eyebrows. "Why did you stop talking to me then?"

She took a deep breath. "Well, to tell you the truth, your request to teach you to kiss unsettled me a little bit. Kissing is not a habit we're used to teaching like a new language. We prefer to kiss our..." No. She couldn't say those things to a male she barely knew.

"...mating partners," he concluded frankly.

"Ambassador!" she burst out, shocked by his directness.

"Please call me Sarek."

"Sarek." I really like your name. "This isn't a conversation which is appropriate to carry on with the ambassador of Vulcan."

"I understand. Is it because you do not see me as a potential mating partner?"

"What? No... I mean yes." She flushed, all mixed up. Right then, they reached the door to her room. She turned toward him and reached behind her to grab the door handle. "Here we are. Thanks for walking me. Good night." She pushed the handle but didn't manage to open the door. Caught in Sarek's firm embrace she felt his lips touching hers. They were soft and warm and Amanda couldn't do anything else but welcome them. The heat in her body rose and she melted against him. The feather-light pressure of his mouth inflamed her much more than any kiss she had experienced with any man. Amanda's head began to swim and she felt she was going to lose it for good. Longing for more, she opened her mouth to let his tongue in.

Sarek released her. "This was an interesting first lesson. I hope we can continue some other time."

Amanda found no reply.

Gently, Sarek stroked a strain of her black hair behind her ear. He touched the tip slightly.

Amanda shuddered.

"Human ears are most fascinating."

"So are yours," she whispered, short of breath.

Unexpectedly, he gifted her with a very slight smile that was utterly breathtaking. "Yes. You will find out."

"Indeed?" she asked, doubting the surprising promise.

"A Vulcan never lies. Good night, Amanda."

She smiled. "Good night, Sarek."

He turned around and she watched him walking down the hall while she fumbled the door handle and managed, finally, to open the door. She stumbled into her room. Without turning on the lights, she went to her bed and threw herself onto it.

She touched her lips with her fingers.

He kissed me. Sarek, Ambassador of Vulcan, kissed me. How do I feel about it? Well, honestly I'm happy about it and somehow... content. I always wanted him to kiss me but I never thought it could happen. I never dared to even dream of it.

With a happy smile she pulled the blanket over her body. She was too comfortable to undress. She closed her eyes and dreamt of Sarek.

In her dream Sarek never smiled at anyone but her.


Star Trek - Amanda & Sarek Fanfiction