Infinite Nature - 4/6


Author: Daniela
Fandom: Stargate:Atlantis
Pairing: John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir
Rating: NC17
Category: Romance, Humor
Series/Sequel: Dare all Things
Summary: There are times when a woman....
Warning: Adult Fanfiction, Spoiler for Season 1 and 2
Disclaimer: No one of Stargate: Atlantis belongs to me.
Least of all Lt. John Sheppard. Damn.
Feedback: Yes, please. Every word opens a new gate.
Email: daniforblue@yahoo.de
Released: April 2008
Word Count: 4073
Beta: Isha


Atlantis slept. Only Elizabeth was still at John´s bedside. Even Carson had confirmed that the bug infection was beaten. John was safe. Exhausted, she watched his lovely but worn-out face. The last traces of the bug virus had finally vanished. The fear of losing him had done a lot of damage to her strength. Certainly she was used to living in fear for his life. But this time the threat had been a real disaster. His dangerous behavior against the city and its people - against her and himself - had brought him close to almost got killed by his own men. It had been her who had ordered Caldwell to stay down to give them time to find a cure. In the end they had succeeded. But it had been close.

"Get some sleep, Elizabeth. He´s gonna be fine."

She flinched but only a little. It was Teyla. "I know," Elizabeth said lightly. Don´t show her he is more to you than a friend. It´s enough that Rodney and Carson know it all. "I just wanted to be sure." Caldwell already suspects something. What was it he said to me today? ´You two are pretty close, aren´t you?´ I have to be careful.

"Of course." Teyla laid a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"His behavior in the last days was truly frightening. He hurt people of this city."

"I know. I was one of them," Teyla stated quietly.

Elizabeth looked at her, startled. "What?"

"Oh, he didn´t hurt me physically but he did the most silly and embarrassing thing to me."

"What did he do?"

"He forced a kiss on me. It was...it was far from...being pleasant."

"Oh," Elizabeth noted, baffled. Her mouth became dry, her heartbeat fastened. He kissed her. He kissed Teyla.

"Well, he wasn´t himself. Therefore, I´ll forgive him."

Elizabeth forced herself to a reassuring smile. No, he wasn´t himself. He acted like a maniac. But why didn´t he try to kiss me instead of her? Why did he try to strangle me? Suddenly she couldn´t bear the sight of his face anymore. She jumped to her feet. "You´re right. I need to rest. John is going to be fine by himself."

Teyla frowned in surprise. "Is something wrong?"

"No," she lied, the smile frozen on her face. "I´m just tired." She hurried out. But not in order to rest. Alert, she paced her quarters, while she fingered her necklace - John´s gift. It was the loveliest gift anyone had ever given to her. She always kept it close. She remembered how overwhelmed she had felt receiving the unique jewel. John´s insight in her love for this city was a clear demonstration of his feelings. Once more, she wondered how long it would take for him to finally express them in words. Is this the reason why I´m so angry? Because he doesn´t say he loves me? Or is it because he kissed Teyla? Because I fear there is more going on between the two of them? No. Teyla is my friend and I know she would have told me if anything else had happened. The jealousy I once felt about her is behind me. I know there is nothing going on between John and her. They are just friends. Right. As well as Teyla is my friend and I never told her about John and me. I feel truly bad about it but I just can´t tell her. I´m the leader. John is the ranking officer. People would start to talk. People would start to question every decision I make. It´s better this way. So why am I so mad at him? It was just one simple kiss. He kissed me many times. But it was never such a passionate kiss. Passionate? Teyla never said that. So why I am thinking like this....

....she is running. She doesn´t know where she is. Daylight shines through the high trees. Twigs are slapping her face. She feels her heart beat in her ears. Her breathing comes in harsh gasps. Her lungs hurt. Yet she is running faster. She feels that someone follows her. She dares to look back. But there is no one...only trees...green and mysterious...still...she remains scared...and keeps running without reason....running...gasping...hurting....

....she woke up, breathless....hot...thirsty. Confused, she switched the light on and took a sip of water from the glass on her night stand. What for a strange dream? I haven´t had such a dream in a long time. Since I´ve been a young girl. What does it mean? Tormenting her mind, she stayed awake until morning light came. Oh well! Without John being at her side she was never able to sleep very well anyway.

A few nights later, John left the infirmary and came to her quarters. They talked about this and that. But not about the one kiss he had shared with another woman. The kiss he forced on her. Not about what the virus had done to him and his dangerous behavior towards her. Not about anything concerning the last couple of days. No. They just laughed about how lucky they were that everything turned out so well. Again. Eventually they went to bed. But only to sleep. John didn´t touch her nor did she touch him. They were sleeping in one bed but they didn´t make love. Like an old married couple, Elizabeth thought, displeased.

One week later, they were having a very late dinner in the break room, John just confessed. "Ermh...I think you´ve already heard when...I was infected with the virus...I kissed...Teyla. It just happened. I wasn´t myself. I´m so sorry."

"Teyla told me herself. It doesn´t matter to me."

"No? Why are you behaving so cold towards me then?"

"Don´t you know?"

"Did I break any of your rules?" he grumbled moodily.

"I´m just fed up with you being distant."

"Distant? I´m closer to you than to anyone."

"Are you?"

"You know I´m not good with talking about feelings."

"Do I?"

"Elizabeth..."

"It´s not about you not talking anyway."

"It´s not?" he said uneasily. "What´s wrong then?" He frowned. "...because...I noticed you...you didn´t...well...you know..."

"No, I don´t know."

"All you do is work. You hardly ever come to bed at night."

"What´s the point?" she replied curtly and continued eating, provokingly calm.

He lowered his eyes. The food on his plate seemed quite fascinating as well. "You flirt with strangers."

Ah. He noticed. "Look who´s talking," she stated maliciously.

He played with his fork. "I already told you that´s never serious. It´s just..."

"...a game...a way of having fun?" she finished, unfunny. "Well, who decides that just men are allowed to have some fun...."

He crashed the fork on the plate. The sound echoed loudly in the empty room.

Thank God, we are alone. Her eyes narrowed. "Pull yourself together."

"Me? What about you? You don´t behave like yourself...you behave like..."

"Like what?" she snapped icily. " Like what? Just say it."

"DAMMIT!" he exploded, his face twisting in rage, while he pushed his chair back.

It was the same rage he had shown in her office, smashing the glass wall. This time she flinched slightly. "Don´t."

His eyes grew wide. "Are you afraid of me?"

"Of course not! Just go back to your duties, Colonel!"

"Elizabeth." He reached for her hands. His chair toppled over.

She backed away. "Leave!"

"Fine!" He squared his shoulders and walked out.

Elizabeth swore silently, unhappy and helpless about her needs. She was so mad at him but much worse was the anger about herself. This meeting had ended nothing like she had wanted it to be. She dropped back into her chair and buried her face in her hands. I´m being silly. Controlled by my emotions. That´s why....

....she is running again. She doesn´t know where she is. It is dark. Only the moon is shining. Twigs are slapping her face. Her heart beats like a thunderstorm. Her body feels hot. She looks back and sees a shape chasing her. It looks inhuman. It looks like...a Wraith...she screams in horror and runs faster. A greedy hand touches her back. She stumbles....

....and jerked awake...and wasn´t scared. Oh no. She was horny. She felt the need for a man. She wanted one right now. What´s wrong with me? Why am I dripping with need? Ashamed, she touched her burning face. She needed to get out of here. She needed fresh air to clear her head. Carefully, she slipped out of bed. John didn´t wake up. She looked at him. Here he was. Her man. Her love. Her destiny. The man who shared her bed but nothing more. Like every night he had walked in and slipped under the covers. It was like they had never had a fight at all. They hadn´t spoken one word. She was still mad at him. But not because they had had a fight. Not because he had kissed Teyla. Only because he didn´t take her. He just didn´t. He treated her like she was made of glass. She didn´t want to ask him why. She didn´t dare to admit her needs... Angrily she shook her head and left her quarters. A few minutes later she stepped out on the balcony. Her balcony. She loved being out here by night. It was all so peaceful and soothing. It helped her to calm down every time. It made her feel like a young and carefree girl again. She stayed out there for over an hour.

The next morning they went to visit the planet of the Larus. The one planet they had slept together for the first time. It was a cruel coincidence they came back here just right now. The trip had been planned for months. A bitter taste filled Elizabeth´s mouth by the memory of this place. The taste of regret. The taste of unfulfilled desire. Automatically she did her duties. Greeting the natives, making diplomatic speeches, being the leader, being in control. Of course, her second in command was at her side, being as professional as she. The Larus were very natural people which were living in peace with the overwhelming nature which surrounded them. Their commitment was literally visibly; in their faces and by their activities. Nourishing and fostering the plants, worshiping the sun and the impressive trees was their life´s work. Their devotion was seen everywhere and done by everyone without exception. It was somehow sweet and annoying at the same time. Eventually, Elizabeth asked the master´s errand boy for a quiet place to be alone for a while.

"Certainly, doyen Weir." The young man with hair like wood wool and a skin like a spruce nodded friendly and led her to a small lodge.

"Thank you, Treece." She liked him and thought he was treated unfairly and harshly by his master. Maybe I should have a word with him sometimes.

The youngster´s brown eyes were warm and good. "Be at peace." He left her alone.

Depressed, she put her body on the simple bed. Be at peace. She wanted to hold on that thought. She needed to calm down. She....

....isn´t running anymore. She is down on the ground. Her hands are bound. Her attacker rips her clothes off. He is heavy. He smells after sweat and earth and lust. She fights him. But he is demanding. He is merciless. He doesn´t hold back. He wants her. She looks him in the eyes. She sees pure animal lust. He is ready to take her. His eyes are dark and green....

....she jerked awake, panting and wet with desire. "God, I´m so stupid." She was longing for satisfaction, yes, but with one man only. A man she already had many times. The man. How pathetic am I? Why didn´t I have fantasies about other men like any woman? She rolled around. I´m so desperate to be taken. So desperate to be a woman. Not the leader of Atlantis. Not strong and in control. Not anything else but a woman. Pure and needy. She sighed heavily and for a few minutes she let herself flow with the sensations of her dream. Be at peace. Be calm. Let go.

As soon as she had her control back she left the lodge and went to meet with the others. It was close to sundown. As she arrived at the village square of the Larus the first thing she noticed was John, who was smiling at one stunningly pretty girl.

Flirting. He was doing it again. Every pretty woman from every planet was attractive to him. She hated him for this. She hated him for being so handsome. She hated herself for being jealous of every woman who has ever breathed. She didn´t come here to see this. Enraged, she turned around to leave.

He saw her. "Hey, I..."

She didn´t stop to hear him out. She fled into the night of an alien planet. Into a forest she didn´t know a thing about. Into infinite nature.

"Elizabeth! Stop!" he called after her. "There is a storm coming. Don´t you remember....?" The rest of his speech was given in vain.

Elizabeth ran through the tangle of trees and bushes. Of course she remembered. She remembered every little detail happening while they had been here the last time. The storm. The game. The love making. Her heart ached with painful longing. It was in danger to burst. Wigs were slapping her face.

"Elizabeth! Stop!" he shouted, alarmed.

She didn´t listen. Now less than ever! She didn´t want him close to her. She wasn´t one of his drooling girls. She wanted to get away. As far away as.... He was coming after her. She heard his ragged breathing. He was hunting her. She ran faster and looked for a place to hide. It was almost dark. The night was coming with light speed on this planet. She only imagined the way to the jumper...through the endless line of trees. One branch hit her face. She gasped in pain but didn´t stop. He came closer. She could feel him. He was right behind her. There. He grabbed her sleeve.

"Stop!"

She cried out and stumbled. He held on to her. Together they barged to the ground. A soft mattress of moss and leaves opened to them. A seductive scent of moist earth climbed over their bodies. For seconds their rage was smoothed by the cozy green isle on which they had landed. But only for seconds.

Caged by his body, she looked him in the eyes. They were as green as the trees. A fierce and unsettling green. She shuddered with anger. "Let go of me!" She struggled. "That´s an order!"

"No!" He pinned her to the ground. "First you tell me...."

She kicked and bucked. "Get off me!" She got one hand free and slapped his face. Hard. It made a cracking sound in the stillness of the night.

He took a sharp breath but didn´t let go. His face turned into a mask of...not anger...but something else...something thrillingly exciting...

Utter lust seized her - so sudden it was a shock. Her skin prickled luscious. "Let go!" she shouted once again.

"No." His grip didn´t loosen. Instead he pulled her closer, putting his hands possessively on her ass.

She wrestled with him. "That´s not funny."

"No, it isn´t." He bent her head back and kissed her. Her further protests died unvoiced.

Ragingly, she kept trying to throw him off. She tried to kick him in the balls. Nothing worked. He was too strong, too much a man. So she bit his impertinent lips.

He cried out but didn´t stop kissing her. Like frantic, he kissed her over and over, again and again.

Warm and sweet his blood swept into her mouth, increasing her neediness, increasing her hunger for more. Anger and shame got washed away by pure simple lust. Her body turned against her. Her body agreed with his against all sensible objections. Her body screamed yes. "NO!"

"Yes!" He buried his face into her hair, sniffing her scent. "You´re mine!"

"I´m not..." she denied angrily.

It didn´t stop him. He ripped her shirt open and cupped her breasts greedily. "Forever mine."

Her nipples turned hard and sensitive. The heat his body gave off let her forgot about the coldness of the night. The mossy ground tickling her exposed back inspired her yet more. Quickly she was dripping with need. Eagerly, he brushed his lips over her overexcited nipples. She gasped soundly. His mouth enclosed one nipple, sucking fiercely. She bucked against him but not seriously. Do I want this? Do I want him this way? Here and now?

He was so strong. He had the control. She was at his mercy. The thought drove a thrill through her body which she had never felt before. His teeth were biting down on her nipple.

"No...don´t," she continued begging and lied to herself. Yes, she was mad at him. Yes, she wanted to make him suffer. Yes, this here was completely crazy. But she wanted him to take the control anyway. She wanted him to fuck her without holding back. She wanted the man. The man without the manners the world had taught him. The pure and simple animal.

And like an animal he behaved. The man who was famous to master every situation growled and sucked fiercely on her tits. Sucked and sucked. She whimpered and writhed under him.

His hand felt for her crotch, opening her zipper, rubbing her pussy firmly.

"Oh God..." I need him so much. She heard him groan. "You are so wet...this makes me so horny..." Swiftly he unbuckled his pants and released his overready hard-on. "You want this, right? You want my cock? You want me to fuck you here and now?"

She couldn´t answer. There were things she couldn´t say out loud. But she couldn´t stop him also. It was too late. She couldn´t stop herself.

He didn´t force an answer out of her but continued ranting while he ripped her slip off. This made her even hotter. Wetter. Once more his hand felt between her legs, feeling her horniness, feeling her willingness. "I want you," he groaned, his face taut with passion. He continued to massage her hot center while his mouth attacked her neck and ears.

Like always, that was enough to turn her into a willing bundle of needs. A hot-blooded woman. "Oh...you...you..." Her heavy sighs encouraged him in the sweetest ways. His fingers delighted her sensitive spot, his lips made her ears deaf for anything else than this here. Raw and intense sex! He was all she needed. He was all she wanted. Ever wanted. He was ecstasy. She cried out as her first orgasm rushed over her. She grabbed his shoulders, shaking uncontrollably.

Feverish, he pulled her closer; holding her while her climax ebbed away. "That´s what you wanted, right?" he murmured huskily, positioning himself impatiently. "That´s what you need. That´s what you´ll always need." Not waiting for an answer, he pushed his cock inside of her.

"Yes," she confessed softly. "Oh yes." She was done denying the truth. I want him. I want him so badly...after all this time... Finally, he fucked her. Finally, he was inside of her. Finally, he was in affinity with her. "Oh...John..."

"It´s been too long. I need you so much." He was taking his shaft deeper, giving himself stroke by stroke, letting his defenses down.

Smitten by his longing, she started to move with his rhythm, feeling every inch of him, making her complete. "Oh yes...fuck me...fuck me..."

He fulfilled her wish thoroughly. Forgotten was the time when he had barely touched her. Forgotten were all the harsh words between them. Forgotten was the world.

"...I want to come inside of you...deep inside...please..." His voice broke.

"...yes...come...come for me...I want it all...I want it inside me...," she invited him, pleading with all her heart. Overwhelmed, he claimed her sore lips and increased the speed. They were clawing and clutching at each other, sliding and rubbing over the blanket of leaves, forcing themselves to a harsh but satisfying rhythm. They merged with the nature around, all their feelings bleeding away into the earth. They reached the peak.

"Elizabeth!" he gasped loudly, and shot his seed out, spilling himself into her. Feeling his warmth filling her womb put her over the edge. A spike of heat hit her center and she came so hard it was almost unbearable. Her screaming was muffled by his insisting mouth. The blackness around started spinning, spinning, until they landed softly on the ground. It was over. Covered in sticky leaves it appeared as if they were glued together. Minutes ticked by. The cold night flew back and Elizabeth realized how she had behaved. Ashamed, she tried to push him off but he stayed put, being still in her, being a part of her, becoming her second nature.

"Shh," he soothed her. "Everything is okay." He rested his head on her bosom." I didn´t hurt you, did I?"

She covered her face. She didn´t dare to look at him. "No," she whispered.

His breath tickled her nipples excitedly. A few more seconds passed in silence but then he seized her chin and forced her to look at him. He was glowing. The light in his eyes was as bright as the stars. He kissed her so very, very gently. "Don´t be shy because of what has happened. It was the hottest thing ever. I love you so very much."

"Really?" Her heart was racing. He said it. Just like that. She threw her arms around him.

"Yes. If you wouldn´t have let me have you, I couldn´t have stopped." Only now, he slid out of her.

"Oh." She shook her head, amused. "Forcing yourself on a woman, Lt. Colonel?"

He grinned. "Hardly. I say the woman forced herself on me."

"Of course. I´m the boss." She caressed the lips she had bitten.

"Yes, ma'am." He unraveled her tangled up necklace and put it right. "We have to head back. There is a storm on its way."

"It already passed," Elizabeth joked, light-hearted. "But John,...we have to stop sleeping without protection...it´s just..."

"...stupid. I know. I´ll try to keep it in mind."

Elizabeth searched for her clothes. "My panties...my shirt...everything is ruined. You have to stop doing this as well."

"Sorry." He sniggered. "We´ll drop by the jumper so you can change." He was finished getting dressed and swept her onto his arms.

Tired, she didn´t mind he intended to carry her like a child. "Okay." She snuggled into his arms. "You may kiss me some more."

"That´s the plan."

She laughed.

A sound that made him feel like being in heaven. "So, we´re good again."

"I wasn´t mad at you."

"Right," he said, disbelieving.

"I was just...unhappy...because...you didn´t...you know..."

He raised an eyebrow. "Take you? No, I didn´t know...until...well...today. I thought you were scared of me because of what happened when I was infected with the bug virus."

"What are you talking about?"

"I almost killed you that night. After that I didn´t dare...I thought keeping my distance is better for both of us."

"No, I wasn´t scared of you. I was desperate because you kissed Teyla and not me."

He frowned, confused. "So what? I kissed you many times."

"Not in this way."

"What way?"

"Dominant."

"Oh!" A smirk stole to his lips. "It's only the truly powerful that have the luxury to relinquish power." Gently, he nibbled at her ear. "I think that´s not the last time I´ve forced myself on you."

"Lt. Colonel!" she blurted, feigning outrage.

Not too late, the storm was close to breaking loose, they stumbled back into the village of the Larus.

"There you are," Teyla greeted them. "We were worried."

"We´ve been here before," John explained casually. "We just took a walk."

"Some walk," Ronon said grumpily. "Your lip is bleeding."

"Ah...yes...well...I ran into a tree."

"Some tree." Ronon glared at him. "Had it teeth?"

"And fangs?" Teyla pointed at John´s face. "Your cheek is blazing red."

John shrugged. "No man can control the forces of nature."

"Doyen Weir!" Treece approached in a rush. "The master needs to speak with you. It´s about your ship."

"I´m coming, Treece." With John in tow, Elizabeth dashed away.

"No woman either," Teyla affirmed John´s statement as she noticed the leaves sticking to Elizabeth´s hair.

"Her hair looks lovely this way," Ronon agreed smugly. "So natural."

John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir Fanfiction