"I've never seen the lights on in this place before. It's kind of like seeing a one-night stand in the morning for the first time."
Sara: "I heard you finally lost your virginity."
Greg glances at Sara. She smiles at him.
Sara: "First autopsy. How was it?"
Greg: "It was fine. How was your first time? How did you react?"
Sara: "I puked."
Greg: "I didn't puke."
Sara: "Way to go, tough guy."
Hodges: "Good thing you don't have to pass a spelling test to work in the field. 'Funtain' water?"
Greg: "My people are Norwegian. That's how we spell it."
"Maybe she's still in the suite. It's a big room."
Catherine: "You crack this kid's head open, all that would come out would be T&A. And a lot of pure, fresh mountain air."
Greg: "You said that about me once."
Catherine: "More than once."
"For the record, I really like having a penis."
Greg: "I appreciate your help."
Sofia shrugs it off.
Greg: "I don't know if I'd be quite as accommodating after just being -- Well, you know."
Hodges: "It could be from an ornament or a piece of jewelry."
Greg: "It could be from a lot of things."
Hodges: "Yeah, that it could, Mr. Proficiency."
Sara: "Wow. Look at you, Mr. Straightedge. I did not know that your hair could do that."
Greg: "I look like a dork."
Sara: "No, no. No, you look like a pro, which is what you are."
"Between midnight and 4 a.m. what I like to call the love hours."
Sara: "Until Mia processes the sheet, there's no way to know whether the semen is the result of self-service only."
Greg: "No way. Soft porn couldn't crack that table."
Greg: "Sara, I just want you to know when we where in the shower I didn't see anything."
Sara: "Really? Gosh! I saw everything."
"This guy is a poster child for self-love."
"No matter how hard you work to get big there is always someone bigger."
Sara: "I'll drive."
Greg: "You always do."
Hodges: "You know, far be it from me to wax nostalgic, but, uh, I kind of miss the old Greg. Ugly t-shirts, goofy hair, semi-pornographic magazines ..."
Greg: "Yeah, well, at least I had a style to change."
Hodges: "Oh, and by the way, uh ... this is just the work me. You haven't had the full David Hodges experience."
Greg: "I think I'm having it right now."
Sara: "You got it."
Greg: "And the student becomes the master."
Greg gets liquidized human flesh in his mouth.
Sara: "Technically, that makes you a cannibal. Grissom would be proud."
Greg: "Grissom would have tasted it on purpose."
Henry: "Maybe I don't want to be a toxicologist my whole life. I mean, you went from DNA to the field, and I guess you're kind of a role model to me."
Greg: "A role model, huh?"
Henry: "Yeah. By the way, where do you get your hair cut?"
Warrick: "I was talking to Tina the other night. She said something to make me think."
Greg: (coughs) "...Yoko Ono..."
Hodges: "Good. You are here. I love an audience."
Greg: "Don't expect any applause."
Greg: "Nobody throws away porn. They're like heirlooms. Passed on down the family tree."
Greg: "A dame was dead, but enough about her. The air was hot and heavy with wrong, making me thirsty. Thirsty for a tall drink of water."
Frank Rosetti: "I don't sell bridal diapers for nothing."
Greg: "He was kidding about the diapers, right?"
Sara: "Please tell me there's something more to this guys and cars thing beside the obvious penis-extension metaphors."
Greg: "So you want me to lie?"
Greg: "Sara ..."
Sara: "I didn't think you could see me."
Greg: "I can't ... but I know that Sidle scent."
Sara: "I'm going to take that as a compliment."
Hodges to Greg: "Good job, gas-hopper."
Hodges: "Know what makes human bones glow in the dark?"
"This neighborhood rains lead."
Hodges: "Some garlic bread? Nice Chianti, maybe?"
Greg: "Kiss my ass."
"When I was kid, I used to make bombs--little bombs."
"The evidence on the floor is, well, evidence."
"Welcome to the dark side of social networking."
"Nothing says I love you like process sugar."
"I let my fingers do the walking."
"An explosion and an alibi. All I want."
Dr. Ray Langston: "The new guy pays, right?"
Greg: "Only if he is smart."
Catherine: "Mr. and Mrs. Decomp?"
Greg: "Til death do the centrifuge."
Sara: "So how's the world treating you?"
Greg: "You know, still being treated like the lab tech with the crazy hair."
"Thanks, Greg. No, thank you."
"Looks like Jack Sparrow has been here."
"If I can't find a phone I'm gonna make one."
Nick: "It's a little bit of a drive but don't worry, Greg knows where it is."
Greg: "I thought you said you knew where it is."
"I'd never wrote a love poem to a girl that included the word death."
"We need to get your statement but first you need to brush your teeth."
"I guess you're never too old. Especially with the blue pill. Guys, you know, who need the boost. Other guys."